what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
