i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
