I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
