Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
