Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
