toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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