he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
