im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
