Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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