it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
