The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
