your parents love me but you hate me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize