i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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