hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize