he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
