it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
