are you so shy because you have an std?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
