my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize