I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I did not marry a roomba.
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