I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
