Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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