he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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