He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
