My sheets look like a crime scene.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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