He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
