physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
