I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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