I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
