Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
