At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if only i could text you this smell
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
