so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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