I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you will always have a special place in my vag
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You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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