her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
