Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You took a bar mat shot.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
