This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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