I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
