Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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