so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
