Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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