She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
