Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize