I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
this boner is exhausting
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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