My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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