you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
