No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
