Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
