My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
