bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
