triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
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tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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