I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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