you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
