Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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