I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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