cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
