I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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