it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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