is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
