question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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