Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
