i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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