I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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