another moral hangover. fuck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
