For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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