I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
