So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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